Kabul – Mister Kabul, Mister Muscle from the Afghan Land

With this oil, the body will go “blink-blink”

Bodybuilding and Afghanistan. For most of us this pair does sound kinda odd one. ‘Afghanistan and Gun’, ‘Afghanistan and War’, or ‘Afghanistan and Bomb’ all sound more familiar to us. The Afghan young men, whom foreigners might prefer to associate with AK-47, long beards, and Arab gowns, now are showing up their shiny smooth chest, bulging biceps, and packed stomach. Proudly they come out in body show contest, where hundreds of spectators cheer enthusiastically to support their Greek-god-bodied fellows. In a country where the posters of Tajik warrior Ahmad Shah Massoud and the president Karzai scatter the streets, Arnold Schwarzenegger – the governor of California – is the real king for the crowds in this hot old theatre hall, where the Mr. Kabul of the year is crowned today.

At least 200 muscled hunks from 70 fitness clubs of the capital competed in the bodybuilding contest. In a city of 3 million population and just crawling after decades of wars, the number of at least 70 gyms is enough to show the great enthusiasm of local men to carve muscles on their body. These bodybuilders come from different backgrounds: students, teachers, soldiers, de-miners, office staff, journalists, and even diplomats. From an ordinary policeman in green dingy uniform, Ali turned to be an Afghan idol on the stage. From a man with baggy shalwar kameez trousers, Ahmadullah turned to be an Afghan version of Arnold colored in red.

The preliminary contest is held a day before, in an open stadium where the candidates are lined outdoor and figuring different poses. Oil is polished on their bodies, ranged from dark brown to strong red, to make them shinny and emphasize the beauty of the muscles. But the using of odd colors makes one think that the head of a contestant was just plugged to others’ body. All of the contestants appeared to be smoothly shaved, despite of the image of Afghan men to be hairy. But there are some candidates who appeared in full beard, as to be location identity of this bodybuilding contest.

This is how a body should be muscled

The best candidates for each weight category are then chosen to attend the final Mr. Kabul contest today. The contest is held in an old theatre building in central Kabul, and posters of Indian Bollywood movies on the rotten wall, all bearing muscular Indian star, may be one among the winds which brought bodybuilding craze to the Afghan land. At 9:30, just before the real show starts, there is rush on the narrow main gate. Cannot-wait-even-for-a-second spectators try their best to be the first inside, but the policemen have to conduct thorough security check before letting anybody in.

Backstage
At the backstage, candidates are in full concentration for preparing to the body show. Smell of lubricant oil in the corridors is very strong. Naser, 17-year-old contestant competing in 50 kg class, says that it is important to emphasize the muscle. He uses good quality oil, made in India. Lubricant rubbing is very important in this contest. Everybody is busy of this. Trainers rub their ’students’, and same-club fellows rub each other. The lubricants favorite to these men is that of darkish color, and everybody looks darker or reddish, with strong oil smell, after being rubbed.

I am the winner

“It’s not important whether he or I who wins the contest, because we are from the same club,” said Nasser. Nasser was helping to rub his fellow with dark colored lubricants. After being completely covered with wax, the two young boys work with dumbbells and pushup bars. It is important to make the muscles though before going to stage.

The candidates in every weight category then parade on the wooden stage. There is a session with loud fast music, when the candidates may show their muscles in any pose they wish. The audiences cheer to support their favorite men. The theatre room becomes very hot, physically and spiritually. Another session of the show is when the MC ask the candidates to show uniform poses, all numbered with codes that is unintelligible to me. Then it comes time to the jury panel to decide who the winner of the class is. The announcement is always cheerful, and in fact everybody on stage gets certificate and trophy.

Bodybuilding, obsession to look good?

Karimullah, a 20-year-old shopkeeper boy, gets the 3rd prize for the 60 kg class. He was very happy with his achievement. “I like bodybuilding, because it’s the best sport. I can have the best body,” says him when I ask why he chose bodybuilding. In fact, people claim that bodybuilding is the second sport in Afghanistan after soccer. Karim is proud of his muscles, which he has been building for 4 years. Three years ago he even already got achievement in bodybuilding contests.

Karim’s reason to bodybuilding is a typical one. To look good is now something people, after the wars, start to think about. Even during Taliban time, there were still gyms in Afghanistan, although if it was not of a high profile like today. After the wars, fitness centers are mushrooming in cities and villages. I remembered there were already some gyms in the little town of Bamiyan when I visited last year, and it was always full of Arnold wannabes every afternoon. Arnold face is the trademark of fitness centers everywhere.
The show goes on. The class is getting higher and higher, and the candidates turn from feather class to heavy class. In 80 kg class, you can see Afghans with muscles as big as balloons, with vein muscles resemble labyrinth roots of a banyan tree, and stomach with a dozen packs, parading on stage. The atmosphere is getting hotter and hotter. This is now more physically. No air conditioning system here. There is only a big fan being plugged under the stage, for at least to make the jury panel cooled down. Jurists are full of sweat though. Photographers are sweaty, reporters are showered by their own sweat bubbles, and we can say the spectators are taking bath in the hot, musty room. Don’t ask about the candidates. The skin texture turns to resemble alien skin as the sweat bubbles mix with the dark lubricants to form wrinkles on the body. Scary. But even without that, the muscles look already scary to me.

Among the higher class, Mr. Kumar, is one of the most attractive. He is the only foreign contestant competing for Mr. Kabul. The man with shaved head looks stunning on stage and attracts support from the hot crowds. Mr. Kumar, although just get the 3rd place in his weight class, says he is happy to be part of Afghan bodybuilding world. And if you see his background, you will be surprised to his unordinary position. He is not a simple Indian man in Afghanistan, but the second most important person in the Indian embassy. I don’t think that any diplomats from our beloved Indonesian embassy (next-door neighbor of Indian embassy) will join the next round of Mr. Afghanistan contest, as Indonesian embassy is more ‘beneath the gate’. We do have sport contests – will start tomorrow and last for 6 weeks – to celebrate the national day. Our national athletes in Afghanistan (consist of diplomats and civilians) will struggle in challenging sport events like tennis, ping pong, billiards, chess, domino, and dancing chairs (joged kursi). But our sport events will be kinda domestic, with no international players, except some Afghans working in embassy.

Sorry, OOT. Now, back to Mr. Kabul. Why people compete for Mr. Kabul? Another reason is the inviting grand prizes. Khoja Farid cannot stop his tears after being announced as master of bodybuilding by the Bodybuilding Federation of Afghanistan. He received not only 1000 US$ but also a Corolla vehicle. He delivered grateful speech, like an Oscar winner, and honored with Afghan Karzai-style honorable cloak. Soon afterwards, his fans carry him on their shoulders, through the narrow corridors of the old theatre building, upstairs and downstairs, just as an Olympiad gold medalist.

Who is the best?—on the way to be Mr. Kabul

On the same day when Miss Indonesia is crowned in the archipelago, the long-awaited Mister Kabul is chosen here.
“And, the Mr. Kabul of this year goes to…. Wahidullah.”
The 27-year-old heavy class contestant is then crowned with red sash with golden letters: “Mister Kabul” in Arabic and English script. His muscles, which need painful years to built, earn him surprising 1000 dollars. He, too, receive great media attention. It is the culmination point, which makes spectators fulfilled and reporters relieved. Two reporters from local news agencies say that the show takes too long time and quite boring, and the reason why they have to stick there for 4 hours is merely to know to whom the title Mr. Kabul goes. That’s all. But to the spectators, you will hear nothing but description like, ’splendid’, ‘fantastic’, ‘incredible’.

In a country which worship machismo, bodybuilding rules. We see popular traditional sports in Afghanistan, from dog fighting to buzkashi (which use headless calf carcass as balls), all are exclusive to men. Here, in the final stage of Mr. Kabul contests, no women at all on scene, but two. These two women, understandably, are foreigners. One is American journalist, and the other is Korean photographer. The latter is heard screaming when she receive sexual harassments from ‘irresponsible’ spectators. Some sources say she cries due to anger, but I have no way to verify. I ask around whether it is not allowed for women to see this kind of contest. People say no. Women are also welcomed if they are interested. But seeing bulging muscles might be not the appetite for any Kabul women.